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I stumbled across a few funny (and clean) bible jokes recently, that I thought I would share with everyone. I actually have been wanting to write this post for a few days now, but every time I tried, Rapper Kanye West would interrupt me and say,

“Hey Ben, I’m really happy for your site holyplan.com and Imma let you finish, but christiananswers.net has the best site ever! The best site ever!

Hehe, I am just joking of course. I feel sorry for Kanye, because the little MTV awards event sure has created a lot of controversy for him (after he interrupted Taylor Swift’s acceptance speech). I think he has endured enough ridicule at this point, and hopefully that will all die down soon. After all, we all make mistakes…

Anyway, this is a blog post that I hope will get at least a little chuckle out of you, even if you aren’t up to date with current events. You may have heard some of these before.  As the saying goes, “Laughter is the best medicine.” Even Solomon said,

“A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones.” Proverbs 17:22

There is no doubt that God must have at least some kind of a sense of humor. After all, we are created in His image. God even made Sarah laugh by giving her a child in old age! I also can’t imagine Jesus not being funny or at least laughing sometimes with the disciples. Some of my happiest times are laughing and joking with my loved ones.

So here are a few funny bible jokes/riddles that I hope you enjoy. I have heard all of these, or read them in the past. Enjoy! Just remember that a good laugh is always fun and great, but just keep your bible humor clean!!

Some Funny and Clean Bible Jokes and Riddles (Old Testament and New)

Okay, first let me get the worst one out of the way, which is a little questionable and possibly inappropriate. I wouldn’t recommend this for children to hear (but you can substitute with the word “devil”), but here it is:

Q.   How do you make Holy Water?

A.   Get regular water and boil the hell out of it.

Okay, the rest are quite funny and much cleaner:

Q.   Who was the greatest female businessperson in the Bible?
A.   Pharaoh’s daughter. She went down to the bank of the Nile and drew out a little prophet. (profit)

 Q.   Who is the shortest person in the bible?   
A.    Bildad the Shuhite (shoe-height). Nehimiah (Knee-high-miah) was a close second.

Q.   When was meat first mentioned in the Bible?
A.   When Noah took Ham into the ark.

Q. How long did Cain hate his brother?
A. As long as he was Abel.

Q. At what time of day was Adam created?
A. A little before Eve.

Q. Why did God create Adam first?
A.  Because He didn’t want any advice on how to do it. (my wife likes that one…sorry any feminists out there). 

Q. Where is the first math homework problem mentioned in the Bible?
A. When God told Adam and Eve to go forth and multiply.

Q. Why did Noah have to punish and discipline the chickens on the Ark?
A. Because they were using “fowl” language.

Q: Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?
A: When God gave Moses two tablets.

Q: How do we know that cars are in the New Testament?
A: Because Jesus was a car-painter (carpenter)!

Q: What’s the best way to study the Bible?
A: You Luke into it.

Q: How do we know that a lot of people in the Bible used fertilizer?
A: Because they always said, “Lettuce spray.” (Let us pray).

Q. What kind of man was Boaz before he married Ruth?
A. He was Ruthless.

Q. What do they call pastors in Germany ?
A. German Shepherds.

Q. Who was the greatest investor in the Bible?
A. Noah: He was floating his stock while everyone else was in liquidation.

Q. What kind of motor vehicles are in the Bible?
A. Jehovah drove Adam and Eve out of the Garden in a Fury. David’s Triumph was heard throughout the land. Also, probably a Honda, because the apostles were all in one Accord.

Q. Who was the greatest comedian in the Bible?
A. Samson. He brought the house down.

Q. What excuse did Adam give to his children as to why he no longer lived in Eden?
A. Your mother ate us out of house and home. (literally).

Q. Which servant of God was the biggest lawbreaker (sinner) in the Bible?
A. Moses. He broke all 10 commandments at once. (throwing the stone tablets)

Q. Which area of Palestine was especially wealthy?
A. The area around Jordan the banks were always overflowing.

Q. Who is the greatest babysitter mentioned in the Bible?
A. David. He rocked Goliath to a very deep sleep.

Q. Which Bible character had no earthly parents besides Adam and Eve?
A. Joshua, son of Nun. (None)

Q. Why didn’t they play cards on the Ark?
A. Because Noah was standing on the deck.

I hope you enjoyed these funny biblical jokes. Laughter is the best medicine, and hopefully I just added years onto your life by giving you some laughter. Just always remember to place God first, and follow His will in all things.

God bless.

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There is a famous quote that says, “Laughter is the best medicine.” There is a lot of truth in that quote. Sometimes I can be having the worst day ever–I can be depressed, tired, in a bad mood, etc., yet, one really funny thing can completely turn my mood around.

There is humor everywhere we look. If you turn on the television, you will find sitcoms, late night programs such as David Letterman and Jay Leno, and more filled with jokes, humor, parodies, and more. But this brings up an interesting question:

Are Funny Jokes, Parodies, and other Humor Considered a Sin?

This is a great question. Obviously, not all humor is a sin. But when does a funny joke or parody cross the line? Can it become a sin? Let’s consider these questions.

First, we know that humor isn’t talked about a lot in the Bible. There are a few references below:

Ephesians 5: 3-7

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people. Nor should there be obscenity, foolish talk or coarse joking, which are out of place, but rather thanksgiving. For of this you can be sure: No immoral, impure or greedy person—such a man is an idolater—has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of such things God’s wrath comes on those who are disobedient. Therefore do not be partners with them.

The verse above clearly shows that “foolish talk” or “coarse joking” are not to be done by God’s holy people. So what does it mean by “coarse” joking. Notice that it didn’t say “ALL” joking, but just “coarse” joking. This refers to the “bad” or “obsense” type of jokes or rough jokes that are inappropriate and contain sinful or impure parts. For example: “Your momma is so..” type jokes.

In other words, jokes and parodies that harm people, hurt their feelings, insult them, or contain vulgar or sinful ideas or language should be avoided. They do not lead to anything positive. To be honest there are so many other ways people can be funny or tell a funny joke without resorting to this level. Some of the funniest people in this world did it without cursing, or harming others. Instead, they just poked fun at life’s little ironic things.

At the same time, we do see some cases of humor in the Bible. When Abraham’s wife Sarah was told she would have a child in ripe old age, she immediately laughed at this. We have no indication that this displeased God (although she did deny that she laughed, but God knew otherwise).

Another reference to mocking or poking fun is Elijah. In Kings 18:27, we have Elijah mocking the other’s for believing in a false God:

At noon Elijah started to make fun of them. “Shout louder, since he is a god. Maybe he’s thinking, relieving himself, or traveling! Maybe he’s sleeping, and you have to wake him!”

Jesus often talked down to the religious people of his time for their erroneous beliefs and ideas. Some have said that sometimes Jesus even appeared to be “making fun” or “politely mocking” their errors.

These are just a few instances where humor occurs in the Bible. Again, we do not see anything wrong in these instances, and the Bible certainly never commands us not to laugh or have a good time. I joke all the time with my wife, but I do it in a loving way and she knows it is all in good humor. I also poke fun at my own mistakes and faults.

The truth is, this life can get pretty rough sometimes. If it wasn’t for a good laugh now and  then, we would all walk around moping and depressed all the time. Laughter is medicine for the bones!

Does God Have a Sense of Humor?

Of course, we can’t fully know everything about God’s nature. But we can assume that it is very likely God does have a sense of humor. After all, we have a sense of humor, and it was God that created us in His image. That means we have a little bit of God in our design. So it is quite possible that God does have a sense of humor.

Conclusion: What Does the Bible Say About Humor, Funny Jokes, etc.

Joking around, acting silly or funny, poling fun, or doing other humorous things isn’t a sin as long as it is within an acceptable context. If it isn’t harming anyone, doesn’t include vulgarity or sin, and isn’t being done in excess–then jokes and humor are perfectly fine, in fact, you might even say necessary!

But the bible does warn us against following humor or jokes in a way that is harmful, sinful, or otherwise inappropriate. We can joke, we can laugh. God created us to enjoy life. But it shouldn’t be done in a way that invites sin, or hurts other people’s feelings.

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Posted under bible questions