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Whew, after tackling several articles concerning marriage, adultery, divorce, and the Bible– I am starting to see a very clear pattern here: Marriage is perhaps the hottest issue. Just let me briefly say that I have now answered a lot of questions regarding marriage, and those articles can be found below:

• King David’s Adultery and Repentance Questions
• Bible Say About Adultery with Hosea & Gomer?
• How to Repent from Adultery Sins According to the Bible
• Bible Say Divorce is Okay for Adultery or Unfaithfulness?
• What Does the Bible Say About Adultery & Divorce?

Once again, I have received a question regarding marriage, adultery, and divorce. Here is the question:

I would like to know if a wife commits adultery and then confesses it as a sin and repents then the husband asks for a divorce,as they are going through the divorce process the husband also confesses that after the wife confessed her adultery he also committed adultery whilst they were still married. Can the wife who repented of adultery and is now divorced get into a new relationship and remarry and the marriage will be blessed by God?

–Winona

Thank you very much for your question Winona. While there are tons of possibilities we can imagine of how a marriage may end, or how a new marriage may start up after a divorce, the scriptures give a very basic outline of how we should live.  I will first just recap this basic outline, and then try to answer your question specifically.

1. Marriage is meant for life, and is a God instituted union.
2. We should never commit adultery. This is a very serious sin, and the bible is strongly against it.
3. God prefers us to NOT get a divorce unless there is a serious sexual immorality issue (or other extreme sin). It should be the very last option after trying to reconcile.
4. If a couple does separate, it is perhaps best to remain single in some cases. If a spouse is innocent and adultery is committed against them, they are free to divorce and move on (and remarry).
5. Adultery is a sin, and sins can be forgiven. God wants us to live a Godly life. We should always seek repentance for sins we have committed, and avoid them in the future.
6. There are cases of marriages built on sin & adultery in the Bible, and while it was a sin at first, once they repented, the marriage was made clean (or Holy). (See David & Bathsheba)

Also, just let me stress something. Adultery is probably the leading cause for a divorce, and it is a very serious sin. If someone has committed adultery in the past, there is a high possibility they may commit it in the future.

So one must really deal with adultery. What caused it in the first place? Was it a lack of faith? Selfishness? Lust? All of the above? That is something that anyone who commits adultery must find out, and prevent it from ever occurring again. Also, there needs to be genuine repentance to God for this act.

What About Remarriage if Both People Committed Adultery in a Marriage?

In the circumstance where one person commits adultery, the bible makes it clear that the other (innocent) person is not bound to stay with them. I always try to emphasize that the couples are not REQUIRED to divorce, but divorce is OPTIONAL. In that situation, it would not be a sin at all for the person who was cheated on (the innocent spouse) to divorce and remarry.

I also try to emphasize that I strongly feel that couples should try to work it out if possible. Sometimes adultery can happen in a very isolated way, and couples are able to move on and have a happy marriage. Sometimes, however, a person has a serious problem, and it is best for the spouse to divorce on account of sexual immorality. As Paul said, God has called us to peace and happiness, and I think we certainly deserve that.

What if both couples committed adultery and divorced? Would both be able to remarry?

I suppose the key issues regarding divorce and remarriage can be discovered by asking the following questions:

1. What is a biblical divorce?
2. Adultery is clearly a sin, but can sins be forgiven? What is considered repentance in a particular form of adultery?
3. What does repentance even mean?
4. Can people remarry after a divorce in a particular circumstance?
5. What if both people commit adultery and then divorce?

To answer the first question, a biblical divorce can be any divorce based on sexual immorality. In the case where a person committed adultery, that absolutely is grounds for a potential biblical divorce (if reconciliation doesn’t work out).

In your situation above, the marriage bond has been broken, and the first spouse who had the adultery committed against them would have the option of leaving. Again, let me stress that this isn’t the ideal option. I would recommend couples try to reconcile if possible.

In the case of a biblical divorce, the couples are released from an obligation to remain married to one another. The key thing to keep in mind is this: The marriage has officially ended in the eyes of God if the person chooses to divorce.

A biblical divorce is the same as death: Both individuals are released from one another in the same way as when one spouse dies. They can move on with their lives. If the marriage ends due to death, the surviving spouse can remarry with no sin. When a person has divorced someone due to sexual immorality, that innocent person can remarry with no sin. The marriage has passed away in the eyes of God. At the same time, we must heed Jesus’ words:

Matthew 19:9 (NIV)
I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery.”

Jesus’ words are very clear hear, that unless the marriage has been dissolved for a reason acceptable to God (sexual immorality), then when one marries another, they have committed adultery (a sin). Also notice what Jesus doesn’t mention here. He never mentions the possibility of repentance after adultery, or what would happen if a person did that and then later repented. We know adultery itself is a sin, but what if the person repented? Then what would they need to do? This is the tricky part in today’s world.

I mean, here is just one simple example to illustrate how tricky this is if we can be forgiven: Suppose a man (Jack) was married to Polly. Jack decided to get a divorce because he was tired of Polly. This would be an unbiblical divorce. Jack then remarries another and has a child. Jesus clearly says he has committed adultery, because he has remarried another woman without divorcing for biblical reasons. Jesus clearly said it was a sin.

Now, Jack one day repents. So what is Jack to do? Is he forgiven for his sin or not? The answer is…YES, we are forgiven for our sins when we truly repent. But Jack has remarried, so now what? Well, David was married to Bathsheba, but did God require him to divorce her? Nope. For all we know, Polly (Jack’s old wife) may be dead, remarried herself, or perhaps she moved to another country. There can be many complex factors to consider, so Jack must look at his situation individually. I think the best thing to do would be to simply carry on with God’s plan from then on, and make peace with the older spouse if possible.

In other words, it would be highly unreasonable to assume that Jack must divorce his current wife, and then go track down his old one (Polly). So we must realize that when Jack truly repented, his slate of sins was wiped clean. His new marriage was made  Holy, and he must now never sin again against his new wife. But in this example, the assumption that time has passed is made, and both have moved on and cannot reconcile. Furthermore, Jack’s first wife may be dead, moved away and cannot be found, or perhaps remarried herself.

So for a person to simply get a divorce for a frivolous, non-biblical reason, and then remarry again, they are committing a sin of adultery. But sins are themselves forgivable. If not, we are all in danger of hell-fire. We must look at each situation.

Addressing Your Specific Question: Is it a Sin To Remarry In Your Example?

In your example, it sounds like both people did wrong (adultery) during the marriage. When only 1 commits adultery, the innocent one is free to marry. It is interesting to consider if both were the “bad one.”

I think the ideal thing to do would be to try very hard to reconcile. After all, both spouses did it, so it seems they have both wronged each other. So they should really strive to reconcile as they were both in the wrong.

If they can’t reconcile and the divorce is finalized, I think the best thing to do would be to remain unmarried in this particular situation. There is no “innocent spouse” in this case, and I suppose divorce is biblical since adultery was committed (albeit, by both people). After all, Paul said this:

1Cr 7:11 But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to [her] husband: and let not the husband put away [his] wife.

In this scripture and several others, it seems to indicate that if people do divorce, it is ideal if they remain unmarried, and if they cannot, they should return to the original spouse (if possible). So in a situation where both people decide to call it quits, I honestly think the most biblical thing to do would be to either remain unmarried, or to reconcile to the original spouse if possible.

Again, I think this is something the woman should really pray about. Is it God’s will to get remarried, or stay single, or reconcile to her original husband? This is very tricky, and I think a lot of prayer, scripture, and so forth would be wise at this point.

Can a marriage based on sin be blessed or made Holy? Sure. King David’s marriage was based on murder & adultery. It was terrible. Yet, God allowed David to remain married to Bathsheba.

This is somewhat different from the situation you described, because you are talking about getting married later on after repenting, and David and Bathsheba had already been married for some time and Uriah was dead when this repentance took place.

So at your point I think reconciliation or remaining single may be the best option, especially of the husband or wife are willing to do so. If, however, the other spouse is not willing, and remarriage does happen, I do think that after repentance the new marriage will be made Holy, and from then on both people should follow God’s laws.

Also, you did say that the woman committed adultery, but repented. Then, the husband later committed adultery. I think the woman should forgive the husband if possible, since she did it too. Again, every situation is different and I don’t know the details of this situation. Is the adultery the reason for the divorce? Or are there other reasons? So again, it is difficult to say what is best without knowing every factor invovled.

Again, let me stress that when we sin against God, there are always hefty prices to pay. I would really search your heart, soul, and scriptures to see if God would have you remarry at this point.

 Thanks again very much for your question, and have a great day!

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Posted under Ask a Question, bible questions, marriage and divorce

Gambling is big business for some cities, and for a good reason: People spend lots of money trying to get rich quickly. Unfortunately, most people tend to get poorer instead of richer when gambling. But an interesting question can often arise in the minds of people trying to do God’s will: Is gambling sinful? Is it a sin to gamble or place bets?

Is It a Sin to Gamble or Place Bets? What Does the Bible Say?

First, the word “gambling” is not actually listed in the bible. This is because gambling wasn’t as big as it was today, and there certainly weren’t big casinos with neat machines and fancy playing cards (can you imagine someone playing poker with a stack of clay tablets?).

But just because something isn’t listed in the bible by a specific name (or because it didn’t exist as largely as it does today), doesn’t mean it is perfectly fine to do (hence, abortion would be a great example as it is obviously wrong but the bible never mentions “abortion” by name).

While the bible does not mention gambling, it does mention “casting lots,” which is somewhat similar to gambling (it is like drawing straws or flipping a coin). People in the bible are often recorded as “casting lots” in order to make a decision. This isn’t necessarily condemned in the bible (although it is associated with a few very bad events such as the crucifixion of Christ). Here are a few verses regarding casting lots:

Proverbs 16:33
The lot is cast into the lap, but its every decision is from the Lord.

Jonah 1:7
And they said to one another, “Come, let us cast lots, that we may know on whose account this evil has come upon us.” So they cast lots, and the lot fell on Jonah.

Luke 1:9
According to the custom of the priesthood, he was chosen by lot to enter the temple of the Lord and burn incense.

Matthew 27:35
And when they had crucified him, they divided his garments among them by casting lots.

So it is quite clear that this was used by many (even Godly men) to make decisions, much like you may flip a coin for a simple decision of what you want for lunch today. But again, this is somewhat different than going to a casino or waging huge bets.

Aside from the technical aspects of gambling, we should ask what we are trying to achieve, and all of the things surrounding the actual gambling. Then we can make a clear decision on whether or not it would be sinful.

So let us use biblical reasoning, and try to understand the “spirit” of scripture to see how God may feel about activities such as gambling, and if placing bets is a sin or not.

So Is Gambling or Placing Bets a Sin or Not?

My personal opinion based on the scriptures is “yes and no, but mostly yes, it can be a sin.” What I mean by that is just like all things (money, sex, etc.) it is fine in the proper context and in careful moderation. But when things go overboard, it can become sinful very fast.

Take something as simple as money. We all need it, right? There certainly is no sin in making an honest living. But when people go too far, we can become greedy and hoard millions while people starve, and that certainly is a sin. The same is true with gambling. When done at random times, in reasonable amounts, and for honest reasons, it is fine.

Placing a simple wager, flipping a coin, casting lots, or even playing a game for fun with the potential to make a small gain is not a sin in itself. These activities would be fine in a proper context.

To determine if gambling is a sin, let’s break down all of the possible variables that occur with gambling:

1. The Motivation–What is your reasoning for wanting to gamble? Is it to get rich quick? Or is it just for fun? Being a compulsive gambler is certainly just as sinful as being a drunk, drug addict, or being greedy. If you gamble to get rich, you may be loving money more than God (a sin). However, if you just have a wager on occasion for fun, it may be okay. Again, moderation and motivation is key. Some churches even have raffles, contests, and other things which resemble gambling, but it is all done in fun and to help raise money for Godly purposes. This, in my mind, would be a perfectly good example of an appropriate form of gambling. The motivation or reasoning behind why you want to gamble can help you realize if it is appropriate or not.
2. The Context–Where will you be gambling? In a casino filled with women in skimpy clothing with lots of alcohol, prostitution, smoking, swearing, and so forth? If so, I think we can all agree that this is no place for a Godly person to hang out. Or is this a simple wager with a few friends at home while playing cards or a game of chess (just to make it a little more fun). If that is the case, I don’t see anything wrong. Just as long as everyone does it for fun, and people really don’t care if they lose (and only a little money is wagered).
3. The Amount–Are you gambling away your child’s college fund, your 401K savings account, your house, or other valuable items? If so, I would say that is a sin for sure. Instead, a very small amount should be used. If you buy a $2 lotto ticket on occasion for fun, that is fine. If you bet your kid $5 that they won’t make a basketball shot from across the court, that is fine too. But if you are mortgaging your house and buying lotto tickets or hitting up the casino in hopes of hitting the jackpot, you have a serious problem and it has become sinful.
4. The Frequency–Do you find yourself wanting to place a wager daily, or even weekly? Do you make a trip to a casino every month, or bet on every big sports game? If so, you may be addicted to gambling (a very serious problem). In this case, you should avoid all gambling just like an alcoholic should avoid all alcohol. If you gamble too frequently, it can be sinful and addictive. But if you place a random wager every few months or so, and don’t really mind losing, then there is no sin in that. Again, you may never know ahead of time if you will become an addict, so it may be best to avoid it all-together.
5. What if You Win?–What will you do if you win money or other valuables? What will you do? Is your goal to get rich and retire? To covet other people’s possessions so you don’t have to work? Do you just want to prove you are right about something, or that you are better at something than others (pride)? If so, this again can be a problem which is sinful. What would you do with any winnings? Would you manage them properly and do good, or evil? Would they be spent on Godly purposes? Or just excessive luxuries such as gold fountains in your house?

When you ask those questions above, it should make it clear what is appropriate and what is not. If you are ever in doubt, don’t do it at all. Always ask, if God came down right now, would I be doing this? Would God approve of this? What about Jesus? Would Jesus have enjoyed hanging in the casino with you?

Also, who will you be gambling with? A business (casino)? A bunch of Mafia thugs? Or a few friends or relatives? Again, this can be a factor as well as to whether or not it is appropriate.

Conclusion: Gambling Can Definitely Be Sinful In Many Cases, and All Should Use Caution

Do you know the best way to never be an alcoholic? Never take the first drink. Do you know the best way to avoid sinful gambling? Never gamble in the first place. That is the best way to ensure it isn’t a sin.

Again, I don’t think there is anything wrong with betting a  family member on a game of checkers for a few bucks (or the loser has to do chores or something). There is nothing wrong with flipping a coin to decide what to eat for lunch. But when people gamble large amounts of money, it can be very sinful, and wrong. People have lost homes, been killed, and much more all over gambling.

Ask yourself your motivation, context, amount, frequency, and goals for gambling, and that should reveal whether or not it is Godly or sinful. If in doubt, don’t do it.

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Posted under bible questions, money, sin